Monday, May 16, 2011


 I awoke on Mother’s day 2011 at 7:30 and ready to face the day.  My husband and  younger  son were in NYC,  scheduled to meet up with us later and my older son was asleep next to me in my husband’s  and my bed.  We had gotten in late last night after a long day at a chorale competition in Massachusetts and I wanted my son to get some sleep.  Normally on Mother’s Day, I am greeted around 8am in my room by my two sons, my husband and a tray full of breakfast.  But today, with the main orchestrators out of town and a teenager in charge I had decided to stay flexible .
                After reading until  8:15, I quietly got up, got dressed, stuffed a few dollars in my pocket and headed out into my Saratoga mother’s day sunshine to walk and enjoy the views.  Maybe I’ll run into some friends as I stroll around the neighborhood.  As luck would have it, after a  mere half mile into my walk, my friend Monica is sitting on her porch with her sister –in –law.  I join them for a ten minute chat and then head on my way.  My walk turns into a bit of a jog and I stop off at the Five Points corner store for some decaf.  I try to buy the Times to accompany my decaf, but hadn’t counted on it costing $6 and don’t have enough.  I half expect the guy next to me to pick up the difference – (After all it is Mother’s Day) but that doesn’t happen.  No matter.  It’s Mother’s Day and my mood shall not be compromised.
                As I head down Clark st. towards home, another neighbor, Jeff, addresses me from his porch and I stroll over and take a seat with my decaf.  Soon his wife Margo joins me and I find myself involved in another ten minute chat.  At 9:10, I excuse myself and head home to White Street.
 I enter the back door cautiously not wanting to appear to anxious or to disturb my older son in the kitchen preparing my breakfast in bed.  No sign of him cooking, just Sponge Bob on the tele.  I walk into the living room casually and address  him using my most relaxed tone
“Good morning Joey.”
“Hey mom,”  Long pause.
“Well, I’ll be upstairs,”
I’ll be upstairs” I say with an underlying tone meaning- “I’m now available for whatever you have planned.”
“Okay.” No eye contact.  Boy he’s good.
On my way back through the kitchen to the stairs I spot a half of grapefruit on the counter.  Aha. I have caught him.  I know that I didn’t leave it there and there is no way that he cut a grapefruit for himself.  I head upstairs at 9:20 with a knowing smirk on my face.
By 9:55, I am desperately bored; I’ve picked up my clothes, I’ve filed away some papers, I lifted my five pound weights, I snuck downstairs twice – once for a gluten free muffin and once for a sharpie to aid my filing tasks.  I’m tempted to call my husband but don’t want to appear like I care whether there are plans or not.  I sneak down one set of stairs one more time and peak into the kitchen to see if there is any action.  I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve trying to catch Santa.  I commit to waiting until  10 am when there is a break in the Sponge Bob action. 
I decide to water the plants and as I am watering a plant near the front stairs, I hear my son go out for the paper.   What!!  Now he is reading the comics.  My lack of need for a plan has turned into me questioning my motherhood.  I quickly review the last few days that Joey and I have spent alone together while Johnny and younger son whoop it up in NYC. 
Let’s see – Friday night we had dinner at an Italian restaurant and we played Spit and Go Fish at the table.  He seemed to be enjoying a high level of contentment.  Upon arriving home, I let him pick the movies and we watched “Taken” with Liam Neeson  in bed.  Good – Good.
The next day I chaperoned a trip to a competition and Six Flags from 7am until 10:15 pm.  As a chaperone, I asked only for one ride – the bumper cars- and let the four boys I was in charge of choose the rest of the day. I was not a pushover, as I instituted a few checks and balances to make sure each boy’s choices were acknowledged.  There was that time I jumped over the stanchion by the picture taking booth with Scooby Doo and some other animal  and the employee said “Ma’am – could you please not jump over the ropes”  Okay that was mildly embarrassing.  Let’s see – we all had ice cream, I purchased some fries for us to share while they waited in line for the ride Pandemonium.  Thoughtful!!  I let them all get air brush tattoos (nothing unseemly) and I got one too on my lower back and bent over to show everyone – Hmmm- May be that was the defining moment and the reason there was no breakfast  before me.
The phone rings and brings me out of my review session.  My husband and younger son in unison shout –“Happy Mother’s Day.”  We talk for a moment before I urgently whisper to my husband.
“What’s the plan?  It’s 10:10 and breakfast is nowhere in sight.  I’m fine without it but we need to leave about 11:30 and I need to know what is going on.”  My nonchalant tone is now gone.

My husband says that there is a plan and he will call my older son on his cell.  At 10:20, I have exhausted myself and decide to take a nap and see what happens.  I dose briefly and wake up at 11:40 noting that my situation has not improved.  I call my husband who says that my son is not answering his phone.  We decide that I should just move on and start the day.  Still on the phone, I head down the stairs to the unchanged kitchen and as my gaze shifts left, I see a plate in the dining table containing a half a grapefruit, a handful of gluten free cereal and  glass of water.  Surrounding the food are three family photos.  Wow – not the repast I had imagined but I was thought of, I was considered, I am someone’s mother.
I say a quick goodbye to Johnny, and go into the living room and say casually but directly.
“So Joey, is that food for me in the dining room.”
“Yeah mom, I’ve been waiting for you to notice.”  Deep breath on my part.
“I was waiting upstairs, so let’s eat.”
Joey follows me into the dining room and waits as I scarf down my breakfast.  He hands me a bag with three great gifts; two books on King Arthur and Sir Lancelot ( I love all that is Avalon and Arthur) and the DVD of “Romancing the Stone.”  I am pleased, my blood sugar is stabilizing and Joey seems happy but incredulous that I had not appeared sooner.
My bedroom level confinement ended, Joey and I prepare for the rest of Mother’s day.  I manage to get twelve minutes of gardening out of him and he succeeds  in hiding my gifts from me as we travel south in the car to meet my husband, younger son and in-laws for Mother’s Day.  A cool customer, he gets the job done and I had a great Mother’s Day.

Diane Lachtrupp Martinez 

Friday, May 6, 2011


Upon finding ourselves on our own one Friday evening last May, my seven year old son Lucas and I decided to go out for dinner.  I posed two different restaurants to him and after a brief consideration Lucas announced Chianti as his choice.  As he is an occasional fan of the cooking channel and a fine cook with a discerning palate, I did not question his decision. ;; It was a fine spring evening and we headed off on foot from our White Street home;  an easy 15 minute walk with a few minutes budgeted in for a young man’s wanderings.
                When we arrived at Chianti we were treated as always with smiles of warmth and recognition.  I said it would be dinner for two and presented my young companion.  Debora Zecchini, the general manager/ hostess, warned that it would be forty-five minutes to an hour for a table, but upon seeing my young dinner guest, suggested that we could be seated immediately at the Chef’s Counter in front of us.  Lucas and I nodded in agreement and Debora showed us to our seats.  The counter has three seats adjacent to the kitchen that affords its diners a perfect view of the busy kitchen.
                Presently, our server Michele appeared with smiles and words of welcome.  As we have been there on a number of occasions, being remembered by the staff is always fun for my kids.  Lucas made his drink selection of cranberry and orange juice combined and I ordered water and a glass of 2008 Salviano Turlo.  It is a Super Tuscan and is all at once complex and deeply satisfying after a mom’s long week.   After looking over the menu, my son was inspired by the cooks before us and announced that he was going to start cooking.  Upon his bread plate he combined olive oil with balsamic vinegar and added a dash of salt.  After which he dipped his bread, with great satisfaction into his creation and relished his good life: dipped bread, alone time with mom and pasta on the horizon. 
                Being seated near the kitchen prompted another inspiration for my son, and he spotted the dish that he would order.  Upon Michele’s return with our drinks, Lucas was ready and ordered pasta with prosciutto in a pink sauce, Mezzanine all Vodka.  Michele treated him with respect and took his order seriously.  He felt validated as a real diner.  I ordered a Insalate Semplice and Pollo Al Limone Candito.
                Normally while waiting for our food in a restaurant, we engage in a napkin folding contest, but tonight with the kitchen before us we had plenty of activities to fill our time.  From our handy position, we identified the salad station, the pasta area and determined who the head chef was.  In the deeper recesses of the kitchen we witnessed the burst of flames as a steak entered the grill.  Waiters and waitresses  dodged incoming customers and hurried to pick up food from the counter.  We were at the epicenter of Chiantis and loving it.
                My salad arrives and Lucas and I share the delicious plate of  greens. The Insalate Semplice is an organic field of greens with grape tomatoes, grana padano and Chianti’s special dressing.   Normally a ranch dressing fan, Lucas clearly enjoys the balsamic and olive oil based dressing.  While eating our salads, we were treated to the birthday song, sung loudly and with gusto at a nearby table by the wait staff and most notably the owner  David Zecchini.   The song is being  sung in Italian and we join in singing.  My son has taken to singing it at home loudly,  passionately and with operatic styling. 
                After the song, David spots us and comes over to say hello.  He converses with both of us asking Lucas how school is going and how our dance company is doing.   Our food arrives and David excuses himself to visit with other customers.  He appears to speak to everyone  whether they are first timers or regulars like us.
                Lucas digs into his plate of pink sauced creamy pasta with a touch of fresh tarragon, I into my Pollo Al Limone Candito.  My delicious  dish is a chicken breast pan roasted with lemon juice, shallots and candied lemon zest.   It’s light savory flavor compliments the spring weather and Lucas sneaks a bite.   For a full ten minutes my son is completely committed to the plate in front of him and does not speak or move.  Most meals at home are spent reminding him to stay seated and continue to eat.   But here and now, he maintains his seated position and is a well mannered and appreciative customer.  We enjoy our meal together.
                After awhile, Lucas slows his pace and Michele comes over to check on us.  We assure her that everything is great but we might need to take some home.  He says he can eat a little more and she comes back for our plates in a few minutes.  And now, the requisite trip to the rest room.  As we pass tables on our way people regard us with a mix of surprise and smiles.  Children are not common here but certainly welcome.
                When we return, Michele greets us with a complimentary dish of ice cream.  In the past, waiters have brought desserts  to the kids saying that it was a reward for their good behavior.  We took it at face value, but also felt that it meant “Come back again with the kids.”  Lucas who moments before, had told us he was full, looks at me with a shrug and well - goes at his ice cream with the same attention he gave his pasta.  As he is truly enjoying his dessert, I manage to only negotiate a taste or two from his bowl.  I sit back, finish my wine and wonder at my terrific evening with my young date.
                Finally, he looks at me and announces he can eat no more as he has consumed beverage, bread, salad, pasta and dessert.  I think we’re done here and we ask Michele for the check.  Lucas helps me look over and pay the check  and we head out with a final farewell from Michele and Debora.  Back out on Division St., we start our stroll home sated, happy and relaxed.
                Epilogue:  The secret to  our successful evening at a nice restaurant  with children is a combination of the restaurant and  family practices.  Our children are not the shy retiring sort and give us a run for our money at home but manage to put on their public face when we are out.  In addition they  have gone out to restaurants since they were very young and know what’s expected. Couple that with a fun welcoming atmosphere at Chiantis and the kids are happy to rise to the occasion.  They feel  a warm welcome at Chiantis and are treated with respect as valued customers and not just as appendages of us.  The message comes across  as “This is a nice restaurant and we know you will behave , but go ahead  be yourself, make a little noise, enjoy.”    Although it is certainly fun to dine out only with  adults, we are also grateful that we can enjoy an elegant evening out with the kids.
                Don’t know where to start in transitioning your children out of a “Friendly’s” evening?  Try Chiantis – believe me your children will know the difference and the boisterous atmosphere will  make them feel at home.  No kids menu but plenty of delicious kid friendly food that will prepare them to not always expect a kids menu but that everything on the menu is for them.

Diane Lachtrupp Martinez